Saturday, October 30, 2010

29.Oct.2010

I walked down the carpet laid aisle with my aunt "K", I would say she is my favorite, but when you have 9 of them. You fail to choose one over the other.

I hold my red indian inspired dress with bahraini twist close to me. I unusually feel shy today!
I look down at my neck and I see huge gold necklaces passed on to me from my granny.  I feel so special knowing that no one but Baba Ali made those necklaces.  Yes, my grandpa was "9aye'3" i.e worked in the gold industry.  I remind myself to smile and continue walking down the aisle. Everything feels special to me this evening.

Ah wait today is a new day! I want to re live yesterday all over again.  Please let me.

When am asked about my perfect party set up, an outdoor lush green area would instantly pop into my mind.  A string of yellow light bulbs hung on the trees and a breeze of cold wind playing with our hair.  Not to mention a group of my beloved guests with great food and music.  Easy to make? Of course. This is what I got exactly.

I'll always remember yesterday,  an evening when 2:00 am in the morning totally felt like "Taw el nas". 

I sat among my family celebrating them into my life.  El7amdellah.





Saturday, October 16, 2010

A Reflection of Reality

I slept for what seemed like a year.

I had a dream. A movie like dream.  It was about a group of friends, somewhere spending their time in a ski resort. I felt chilled in the dream-slash-movie.  I can't remember the details except for the sad ending.  One of the friends fell off a cliff and died.

Everything in the dream ran in slow motion, I lived every moment of it. I didn't feel related to the series of accidents. Just one of those random dreams you have because you dragged yourself in your sleep. That's what I thought at the beginning. 

When my eye lids started twitching me to wake up, I saw a beautiful scene.  The remaining group of friends sat in the round table, with candles all over them, laughing and eating dinner in the dim lights.  That was the last thing I remember.  Something like those Japanese drama movies. 

Later on the day, I heard the death news of an 18 years old extended family member.  He was on his way coming from Omrah. *Allah yer7amah* 

The day passed so slowly, I dressed up and headed to my uncle's house where they were reading versus of Quran followed by dinner for the family. 

To my surprise, the table had candles all over, it took me back to that dream.  My day resembled that dream to a very freaky way.  

It reminded me that no matter how shocking the news are, with the love and support of family, a smile can be drown over your face even if you literally feel your heart darkening out of sadness. 

I feel the numbness all over me. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

Silver Lining

يوماً ما سـ أكون كما أحلم أن أكون ..
يوماً ما ستلاحقني أمنياتي تتشاجر مع بعضها أيها ستتحقق أمامي قبل الأخرى !
يوماً ما ستكون برفقتي جميع الأشياء الجميلة التي أحبها تُطربني بـ أهازيج الفرح وتتراقص حولي !

هو يوماً ما ..
سيأتي قريباً أم بعيداً ، طويلاً أم قصيراً ، لا أعلم !

لكنه سـيأتي بإذن لله !

For those who are with me in my daily life, they would instantly remember a line I always say when there is a wish for something to happen: 3and Allah mb b3eed. To me, it's a very powerful statement, it sums up whatever thoughts I have in my mind. If it's written in your life journal that you will have this or that, it will happen. Now, tomorrow or years from now. And in contrary, if its not ever meant to happen, then it won't happen. Shed few tears, dwell over it, but hey it sure happened for a reason that you might not realize straight away, but days and months and years will show that you were lucky for not getting it. Few years back, me and my best friend had the same wish. We always said, if it happens; we will be complete. It never happened. I sat across her in the coffee shop days ago. We looked at each other, so here we are! did we lose anything for not getting what we wished for? No! Actually we are happier than we had ever been.

It amazed me how years passed and how our life took its rule over us. What was hidden for us, worth the wait, and will be worth everything Insha'Allah.

Everything happens for the "best" reasons.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Back To Life


I never thought I'd be able to check one of the places which shaped my skills, interests, friendships for so long. Thankfully, Flickr is no longer banned in the UAE.
Mabrook photography fans. Here's to a time spent looking at the beautiful, colorful and happy side of life.

Your Life Values

What are yours?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Love You All

Enjoying hearty breakfasts, jogging on the treadmill next to you, telling you at your worst that you are the most beautiful person they have seen.
Not to mention, spending 2 hours on the phone putting back senses into your mind when you almost want to give up. Not realizing you had already slept off in the mid of the call; that is what I call the definition of true friends.
Friends are those who put your happiness before theirs, and who consider your success a reason of pride and joy for them.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Perfection is a Myth

A missing tile here, a broken bulb over there, and a wrecked heart sitting in an abandoned armchair, counting the moments they wished they could go back in time and change whatever happened.
I think the word “Perfect” was invented to make us feel bad. Nothing really resembles the word perfect. Isn’t it a fact?
On the meantime, we try to live with the mere perfections we were blessed with. The good health, the greatest company and the hearts of those who love us and care about us genuinely are what should keep us going.
We all have flaws. You & me, we do things and give ourselves the excuse to do so, shouldn’t we allow others to make mistakes and allow our heart and mind to forgive and forget?
Shouldn’t we be clearer that we are just like everyone else, not perfect, just Human.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Positivity Counts

For something apparently.

I’ve been riding this boat since 14th of March, 23 years ago.

When I was a kid, I never paid attention to where that boat was heading. Mom & dad took care of that. They shielded me from everything! The only thing I used to see is the sun rays and the beautiful big fishes in the sea. My brothers and I used to play all the time. The top of our worries was why we have to sleep so early and leave that fun behind. When the sun was eaten by the sea, Mama tucked us in bed while telling us the story of the sheep whom their mama asked them never to open the door for strangers. We closed our eyes drowning in the ocean of our dreams. Only the smell of mama’s peanut butter sandwiches woke us up, or as she used to call them “Banat Beter”

As we grew up, our personalities and leadership started forming up, we no longer wanted our parents to take us everywhere, at times; we actually wished to sail the opposite way. We accused our parents that they don’t understand us. We always wanted “our” way. Until the day came where we took the wheel and decided to sail our own boat.

What a big mistake.

Little did we know, the sea has waves, sharks, and it becomes dark and scary at night. Where was I all that years! How come I didn’t see all this.

I hit rock bottom and I pick myself up. I hold on to my life with my brothers, and my friends.

Throughout the years, the boat became too heavy with the stuff we stored and the guests that came to sail with us.

It was so easy for us to just throw everything in the sea, and forget about. If we disliked anything, we thought it will be forgotten forever.

Again, little did we know, in a very cold night where the winds are way stronger than our little boat tolerance point, us and the boat are pulled down to the bottom of the sea. The place where once we threw everything forgotten. No wonder in hard times, the only thing we remember is our past.

As the journey continued going forward, we learned that for every wave, there is another one to pull you back. For every ugly shell, there is a beautiful pearl hidden inside. And for that weary soul, there is little voice inside of you that tells you, I’m here taking this journey with you.

--------
Dedicated to my parents and those who made me who I am today.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Last Supper

It's a wonderful feeling when you do things as if it will be the last time. You put so much thoughts and passions into it, that anything so simple becomes a big deal for you.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ramadan Rituals

I love how unconventional is our ramadan sefra.

My usual duty during the holy month is making salad and lots of salad every day.

This year I shifted my focus in learning the deal of baking lol. I always considered my self a failed dessert maker, that is because I don't have a sweet tooth.

However, I made a huge success in making sticky date cake twice and a coffee/toffee cake. I'm so proud of the outcome. A slice of my cakes are now a hit especially when we gather around the TV, sipping green tea with fresh mint leaves.

Today, I'm spending literally "30" hours with my granny in KSA before I come back home. Words can't describe the amount of love and happiness I feel right now "al 7amdella" seeing my family, my love, all in good health.

Yesterday my aunt whom I consider my life mentor offered to take me for a lecture where phrases from Quran were translated. Luckily, moses story was the focus of the lecture. I was choking in my own tears the whole time. Especially the part in soorat Taha where Allah was asking Mosa to "Listen". The lecturer was talking about how the art of listening really is.

The moral behind the story is that we always keep our mind processing when we are in the middle of a conversation! We tend to bring all our life concerns, fears, future imaginations into our mind at that particular moment. That blocks our ability to listen to something of a real value.

In order to live a meaningful life, we need to learn how to concentrate, how to think before we speak.

Thank you auntie Amal for the wake up call *hugs* it came in the perfect timing.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Time Traveler

Sunday August 3rd:

I woke up feeling extremely different. It felt like I was back in time when I used to be a student. Or the time right after graduation, or the time me and those involved in my daily life were in good terms.

I didn’t know how I could describe the feeling but I surely loved it. I went back to loving photography and reading blogs, to calling my friends and remembering old incidents that back then were hilariously funny. To feeling lucky having you in my life. The list go on and on but I felt reconnected to my core self.

Yesterday, after we all finished fu6oor (Happy Ramadan everyone!), I sat across the table from my mother, I asked her: Mama ma t7seen we’re back like old days?

Her face gradually formed a smile that secretly said: How did you know! Then she murmured to herself: el7amdellah.

I really don’t know what that was! But I felt my soul had abandoned me for while, leaving me dealing with my own life struggling between so many things.

I’m so happy now.

Today’s morning, out of the blue my colleague told me: Layla, yesterday the whole world was looking for you. Glad you are back.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ya M6awel el '3aibat?







Where have my days taken me?

Juggling between our families, friends, work and everything in that little circle called “Life”

Things taken for granted can really stay granted when we put so much faith into it. I truly believe in fate, but one of my friends taught me to think positively that Allah will always bring good things into our life, because we look at our life that way.

I spent a weekend with two of my favorite cousins away from home. I can still feel my stomach muscles from all the laughter. All and all, it will be a memory that is hard to be forgotten. Note to myself, need to detoxify my body after all the junk we have eaten. Think, Red Velvets for breakfast! Worth it.

Rewinding furthermore, the big breakfast at Mzmz House was a delightful memory. God it seems like it’s been forever, knowing how much things happened in between.

And above all that, bonding even stronger with my loved ones is something I’m starting to cherish every single day. And that’s where my heart is right now.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I <3 You Life

Jasmine infused tea, Bob Marley singing "Could You Be Loved", fresh toasted mozzarella paninis and browsing through inspirational pictures after a long day at work. Ah couldn't ask for better atmosphere. Mmm no re thinking about it, a window overlooking the beach wouldn't have done any harm lol.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Rewinding

I threw those Reeses mini peanut butter cups into my mouth without thinking.

I lost counting, all I know the family pack is half empty now.

Two weeks had passed since my brother's lovely wedding, and my little family is growing with dear additions. The week after, I was among those rewarded for their contributions to my University when we were students.  It was so beautiful to see the girls, all grown up and independent career wise and family wise.

I knew 2010 where the year of changes.  Little did I know, those changes will be that big.

Monday, May 3, 2010

What a Wonderfull World

It was almost 9:00 PM.

I started the engine, wore my glasses (yes I haven't noticed how much my eye sight have decreased lately). The ride back from my uncle's house was smooth.  "Enshodat Al Ma6ar" playing in the background.

As soon as Abdu enchated "ba3ad '3adden ta3ood, la boda an ta3ood"
I signled to my lil sis at the back to keep it shshsh. I wanted to enjoy every second of it. I only wished I stole that mug of tea infused with Iranian saffron from my uncle's. It wouldn've been the perfect companion with this mood.

I whispered: "Baba esma3 sho egool abdu, sho tefham mn el words?"

He studied the words for a bit, then said: "He's comparing his saddness, to a baby who lost his mom, and people are lieing to him saying she will come back!"

I admired his quick answer so much that it hurt me how little time we get to spend everyday. Being that everyone is busy with his own life. 

However, these few mintues spent with him, will always be so dear to me.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Genuine Thank You

Moments passed after I posted the previous title.

 My phone started ringing.

I was at my desk, still working.

An angel called me. My tears chocked me, I couldn't be the bubbly me as usual.  I needed her right now.

"I need to see you Mzmz"


I shut down my laptop, turned off my desk lamp, folded my presentation papers into my bag and left.

As much as we need our friends in these weird times.  It feels so much better when they remind you no matter how much they could listen and take things in.  Allah is whom I should turn to, to soothe my soul.

Thank you for the advice and for the cutest Omrah gift.  The timing couldn't be better.


Thanks to you all. Love you 

Escapist

He looked at me. A smirk over his face. He's following me everywhere I go.

"What do you want?"

I scream in my heart, I let out a sigh.  I need to get out of this dream.

Who are you anyway? I can't figure out the features, it's just that he creeps me out.

They say, dreams could somehow be a reflection of our sub-conscious.  

What are you trying to tell me?

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What's bigger than Huge? "THIS"

Our life is very short, and very simple.

It was a long stressful day at the office.  As we were about to leave, she asked her office mate and dear friend to soothe out the knots of the tired muscles in her neck. I remember her weary eyes and her voice that made me sense a huge lump in her heart.  While her friend was gently massaging her neck,  she asked her: "do you ever wish you could die now?"

I noticed how her friend slowed her touches and took a deep sigh.  "We live in a bubble" 

We got used to having all the necessities of life in a way that it never occurred to us, people actually die in their hope to find these things.  Things like: food, shelter, feel of security and warmth.

If "we" the people who have everything, choose to give up on life for the smallest problem we have.  How many times do those lacking life necessities think of death?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Satisfaction

Forget about chocolate and midnight cravings. In the long run, what satisfies you the most in your life? Is it:
  • Your family? The big Fridays lunch
  • Your circle of friends? Where each of them has her own personality, her own joy of heart
  • Your health? The ability to run continiously for an hour and let these happy hormones pump up
  • Your work?  Being recognized among others for your achievments
  • Your faith? Knowing how to thank god for the countless blessings
It's an eye-opener for a second.  If I can build a structure and put each of the above as a foundation to each corner of that structure, I believe I'll be able to create a house of undescribable happiness and satifaction.

But, what if one of them breaks?

An alternative is always available, I had these days when things got rough at work, I always told myself, it's al'right, I'm going back to see my family. Or when neither of that was going well, I had my friends, who never miss a chance to cheer their LuLu up :)

Find you inner satisfaction and build on it. It will never let you down.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Day I Gave My First Speech

"Layla, WAKE UP, we have to be at the marina port by 11 am"

My friend's screams made my heart jump.

I squeezed my eyes to look at the room clock, its 10 am. My God!

Rushing to get ready and leaving the house in 15 minutes was a breaking record for me. Also, making sure I eat my usual breakfast “A Banana". I'm a strong believer in the whole good mood effect stuffed in bananas.

Me & Phenomenal Z, who is a dear bestie and workmate as well, were chosen to give a small speech to a group of young girls, telling them about our experience working in the private sector.

It was a great opportunity for us to teach those girls what to expect when they leave the carefree life and join the stricter "time management" labeled environment.

Back in the port, we waited for an hour for the water taxi to reach. The weather was unusually windy; I could see the waves hitting the boats so hard and splashing back to the sea. I whispered to my friend:
"Tara I don't know how to swim"

"It's okay, I'll save you, just don't pull me back to the water, relax and I'll hold you" She replied calmly.

The water taxi dude made us wear colorful life jackets and he started the engine. 20 minutes ride in the sea of my beloved city was a pleasure of its own. I'm not a sea person when it comes to actually being in the middle of it. I just enjoy the other senses, let me dip my legs, touch the sand, hear the sound of the waves and that's it.

Those 20 minutes passed so fast as we reached Al Futaisy Island!

The young girls were having a leadership camp for three days. We proceeded to the cafeteria where they were having lunch. A bus comes to take us from the cafeteria to where we will give the speech.

An Airy room with theater style chairs lined up. Girls were supposed to be there, but half an hour passed and the 30 girls were coming one by one. How frustrating, yet funny! I was in their shoes a year and a half ago. God how much I changed.

Two girls were sitting in the corner of the room, they seemed like good friends. Communicating softly about their work plans, how much they like to do volunteer work and the fact they are looking forward to our speech.

I wouldn't want to bore you with the details of the speech, other than it went really great. We saw a response from those stubborn girls. We tried to feed them the fact that "you have to love what you do, in order to succeed", all what they were thinking “how can you sit in an office for 9 hours"

As we were about to leave, I approached the two girls in the corner and wished them good luck in their life. I left with a tear that was about to fall, but I held it so hard.

It's fascinating how much hardship of life makes up a person. The two girls lived all their life in an orphanage house, they never saw their parents. One of them was on a wheelchair. She looked so perfect, so complete to me more than any of the 30 girls filling the classroom nudging each other and joking around.

I went there to teach them about myself, not knowing how much I needed to learn from them.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Love It


New sort of addictive purchases have kicked in. Sweet everlasting scents that embraces the place with happy notes of Vanilla.
Makes me dreamy all the time.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

<3

Going back to my senses.
Happy Relaxing Saturday everyone.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Happy Moments

2 days before the actual birthday.
Living every second of it with a big smile and a loving heart.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mend That Heart

I gazed outside the car window admiring the beautiful weather today. My imagination started drawing vertical and horizontal lines.  The more I closed my eyes and wandered into those lines, they formed something like:

A triangle on top of a square.

A square with two little squares inside and another rectangular in between.

On top of the triangle, a bit to the right, there is a Chimney!

Yes, that’s a house, the oldest and most common picture we learned to draw. Ever since we learned how to hold crayons in our tiny hands, we are born to know, one day, some day; we will have a home of our own. With everything that comes along with it.

A loving family

A pet

A vase full of white lilies

An oven that hides a “burnt” cake inside

But hey, a warm smile that welcomes everyone to our world

If fairytales mean living happily ever after, then be it. I want that

And no matter how simple our imaginations draw that happy life, we should always be ready to draw the dark cloud of top of that house.

I woke up from that moment of day dreaming and realized, I saw that silver lining already.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Monday, February 22, 2010

Planning To Make Someone's Wishes Come True

Monica Galler! you taught us how to become cute planning freaks.

I'm opening the first page of my fuschia planner and scribbling down:

"23rd of February, I have faith in you"

Drowned

It's the deep, mad, insane love that takes you in a storm of expressions. It leaves you expressionless at times, if there is such a word. Nothing is enough, everything is adequate. You need to give more and say more and do more. Hoping that it reflects just an ounce of whatever you feel in your heart.

Officially drowning.

There is no better love, that loving your dear ones unconditionally.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Goodbye



The hardest word I could say
The most hurtful situation I could encounter

We said goodbye to so many people in our life.  Those who we chose to leave in their own path, and those who left us without any notice.  Physically and emotionally, a shadow of emptiness darkens our days.

Saying goodbye to places we once had the best memories will do just the same.

Leave your pride aside, tell those who you love, I love You.

Tell them life without their smile; our soul is not worth living.


- Dedicated to Nawal.  Allah yer7amch
You left a legacy behind you. 
Your stories, your life is a school of it's own.               
I never met you, but you sure changed my core. 

Abu Dhabi Through "My" Eyes


It is the closest feeling to a bride in her big wedding day.  A day I was recognized in the well-known "Abu Dhabi Through Your Eyes 2009 - 2010" photography competition.  My flamingos were chosen as one of the highlighted contributions among 4000 pictures.

My friends, my family, my work mates, my dentist, everyone I could recall praised me.  The feeling was indescribable.

Appreciation is the secret behind devotion.  


p.s Thank you for being there, yes You!

My Cabbage Salad, My Cubicle & I

It was a Ghost town of its own.

Three floors of dimmed lighted little cubicles. No one was there except for the Fake-Smile security guy at the reception.

I was there, facing my laptop, completely transformed in my outlook email; I lost track of time and my Social life.

However, it never occurred to me, after working a shift of 14 hours, that I was Okay with it. Deep down in my heart, I felt I was doing the right thing. And that's when I realized the ultimate fact:

I love what I do. El7amdule'Allah 



Monday, February 8, 2010

In a Beautiful Day

What's better thing to do, in the middle of the day, than enjoying a hot dog at the beach with one of my favorite friend's.

To always creating "that" kind of memories.

Quickies:
Happy Birthday MzMz. I love you to an infinite extent.

Friday, February 5, 2010

عسى وقتك يوافق

Few weeks ago, I was sad over the fact that whatever replaced my older habits now; is making me feel bored and serious at times.  I felt like I wanted to do everything I used to do back in university and the years before. 

The equation was so simple: watch friends in the mornings, have your short skinny lattes and go to Marina Mall in the afternoon.  And oh, not to forget, listening to my Abdulkareem and Abdu oldies. 

Today, I decided to ditch my already-ditched finance books, and go out with mama and lil sis.  I was in the mood for extreme relaxation.  Think tod's loafers, leggings and my flowing abaya. We hit marina mall.  
In every corner, I reminded mom of the times when she used to take me out of school and have lunch in IKEA.  I felt like I went to marina mall with my school uniform more than the times I dressed up. 

The weather also, was out of this world.  It compensated for the sand storm that happened yesterday. 

Again, my guts proved that 2010 is MY year!  El7amdle'Allah 


Friday, January 29, 2010

I Can See Your Halo

When it is remotely easy to make it happen. It becomes a challenge in my mind. A Sweet one :)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I Dreamed You Into my Life

Perfect people are creation of our mind set.  We don't "ironically" know that our second halves are literally standing right in front of our faces.  With all their flows, their bad days, their everything our mind is telling us is wrong; Yes admit it, they are perfect for us.

How selfishly blinded are we?

Thursday, January 7, 2010

لمحت سهيل

We all sat around the bon fire.  Attempting to scare each other with our "made-up" ghost stories.  I opened my marshamello pack, stuffed the wooden stick and started rolling it in the fire.  I could hear the sizzling sound of the outer skin getting burnt and turning crispy brown.  I took one bite, second and third, re stuffed my stick and did it all over again.

It's nice when you have the chance to get your mind off the same work, people, food and topics and head somewhere far far away.

I came back to my normal senses, *me* the extrovert that I'm.  I laughed, I hurt myself, I jumped, I ran and ran and ran.   I looked back in the mid of the run, stopped,  took a deep breath and thought to myself: I'm alive.  Most of all, I relived one of the best moments I had same time two years ago.  Although the place had changed, but our spirits were still as young as ever.

Keep surprising me.


Monday, January 4, 2010

Serendipity

I closed my eyes, thinking tomorrow will be a great day.  Little did I know, the day will pass as flawless as a sweet dream.

I loved every second of it, every glimpse of it, every stolen smile of it.  I wish that everyday was like "that" day.

I loved you even before I meet you 2010 :)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

YoYo



On a "full moon" night.  A night that brightened our evening with no need for you Mr. Thomas Edison.  My brother & I threw a blanket in the backyard and watched the stars.  Ah the cold winds, very unusual, I put on my new TopShop hoodie and left out a chilled sigh.  We talked.

Conclusion?

Life is such a yoyo,  we face so many difficulties, hatred and hurt.  We go to the bottom of problems.  But suddenly we start to pick up and resolve everything bothering us.

Finally, we're back to ourselves.  Hopefully, stronger & happier.  Just like a Yoyo in the hands of a small child.  Goes down and down that he finds it hard to balance, he either gives up and throw it away or Try again. Once it returns back to his tiny hands,  the smile on his face is victorious.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Along Came "You"



It feels like you are living some else's life.  You have lived through all their moments, their laughters and joy, their midnight breakdowns and their feeling of loneliness.  The long way to be happy;  thanks to you is one step away.

Dedicated from you, to those who made a change in your life.  A mother, a father, a friend, a co-worker or a random person who smiled back at you between the supermarket aisles.

And Another Year Comes Along

And another page is folded in our life book.  With all the happy and sad moments we encountered, we've moved on.  Yesterday I slept with the tv on, the lights on, my makeup on (I know I know I attempted a beauty crime), it was still 10:30 but I wasn't sure what to do in new years eve.

But today is different.  Micheal Buble is enchanting in the back of my head "I wanna go home", had cereal with my lil sis, danced a la fancy workout and read the newspaper.  I feel refreshed.

My most important 2010 resolution to spend more time with my family & Besties.  I admit, I wasn't as active in the loop as I used to be.  And due to my finance course in the first half of this year,  I know it will get worse, but promise I'll make it up to them (especially you p.y.t)

Finally, let's make the most out of this year,  and remember no matter what happens:
"If you stumble, make it part of your dance" 

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

ضد الحزن فيني فرح مخزون



In this beautiful and spiritual time of the year.  I wish you all a very happy 3eed, with your family and loved ones.

I packed my weekend bag(s),  looking forward to a peaceful time spent in RAK away from all the traffic and the busy to-do-lists.

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Dead Man Who Wore Pajamas





A beautiful story written by Paulo Coelho
"I remember reading a piece of news on the Internet that a man was found dead in Tokyo on 10 June 2004, dressed in his pajamas.
So what? I imagine that most people who die wearing their pajamas either a) died in their sleep, which is a blessing, or b) were in the company of their relatives or on a hospital bed – death did not come quickly, so they all had time to grow used to “the undesirable one,” as Brazilian poet Manuel Bandeira called it.
The news goes on: when he died, he was in his room. So, the hospital hypothesis is out and we are left with just the possibility that he died in his sleep, without suffering any, without even realizing that he would not see the light of day.
But there is still another possibility: assault followed by death.
Those who have visited Tokyo know that the gigantic city is at the same time one of the safest places in the world. I remember once stopping to eat with my editors before taking a trip to the interior of Japan – all our suitcases were in sight on the rear seat of the car. Immediately I said that it was very dangerous, someone was sure to come along, see all those bags and make off with our clothes, documents and so on. My editor just smiled and told me not to worry – he knew of no such incident in all his long years of life (in fact, nothing happened to our suitcases, although I kept tense all through dinner).
But to return to our dead man in pajamas: there was no sign of struggle, violence or anything of the sort. In an interview, a Metropolitan Police officer stated that it was almost certainly a case of a sudden heart attack. So the hypothesis of homicide was also eliminated.
The body had been found by workers of a construction company on the second floor of a building in a housing complex that was about to be torn down. Everything led to the idea that the dead man in the pajamas, unable to find anywhere to live in one of the most densely and expensive cities in the world, had simply decided to settle where he did not have to pay any rent.
And now for the tragic part of the story: our dead man was only a skeleton dressed in pajamas. At his side was an open newspaper dated 20 February 1984; a calendar on the table nearby gave the same date.In other words, he had been there for twenty years.

And nobody had noticed his absence.

The man was identified as a former employee of the company that had built the housing complex, where he had moved to in the early 80s soon after his divorce. He was just over fifty years on the day that all of a sudden, reading the newspaper, he left this world.
His ex-wife never sought for him. It was discovered that the company where he worked had gone bankrupt right after the building had been finished, since no apartment was sold, and so they did not find it odd that the man never turned up for his daily activities. His friends were looked up, and they put his disappearance down to the fact that he had borrowed some money and could not pay it back.
The news ends informing us that the mortal remains were delivered to the ex-wife. I finished reading the article and wondered at the last sentence: the ex-wife was still alive, and for twenty years had not even looked up her husband. What must have gone through her head? That he no longer loved her, that he had decided to remove her for ever from his life. That he had met another woman and disappeared without a trace. That life is like that, once the divorce procedures are over there is no point in carrying on a relationship that has been legally terminated. I imagine what she must have felt upon finding out the fate of the man with whom she had shared a good part of her life.
Then I thought of the dead man in his pajamas, of solitude so utter and abysmal that for twenty years nobody in this whole wide world had realized that he had simply disappeared without leaving a trace. And my conclusion is that worse than feeling hunger and thirst, worse than being jobless, suffering for love, in despair over some defeat – worse than all this is to feel that nobody, absolutely nobody in this world, cares for us.
Let us at this moment say a quiet prayer for this man and let us offer him our thanks for making us reflect on how important our friends are." 
This post is dedicated from me to all my friends, my best friends, my parents, my family, my colleagues & my loyal readers.  Those who remind me that my existence is a blessing in their life. 


Thursday, November 19, 2009

In A Peaceful State of Mind



If only meetings are like this all the time. I drove to our gorgeous Yas Island this morning for a business meeting. After all the protocols Yada yada yada, we took a boat trip around the island. I shamefully say, it's my first time to go in a boat ride in my city at least. God, day by day I'm more convinced that there are so many things we should do in our day, however we shield ourselves under the roof of our house or work, thinking "well, I'll find time to do it one day" I'm just afraid that "one" day it's too late to do anything.
Live happy.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The 200th




Snow, Aldo

By Kate DiCamillo
"Once, I was in New York,
in Central Park, and I saw
an old man in a black overcoat walking
a black dog. This was springtime
and the trees were still
bare and the sky was
gray and low and it began, suddenly,
to snow:
big fat flakes
that twirled and landed on the
black of the man's overcoat and
the black dog's fur. The dog
lifted his face and stared
up at the sky. The man looked
up, too. "Snow, Aldo," he said to the dog,
"snow." And he laughed.
The dog looked
at him and wagged his tail.
If I was in charge of making
snow globes, this is what I would put inside:
the old man in the black overcoat,
the black dog,
two friends with their faces turned up to the sky
as if they were receiving a blessing,
as if they were being blessed together
by something
as simple as snow
in March"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Memiors of a Day


As we were about to leave the place. Another car parked across the street. A lady I would assume in her late twenties was driving an SUV. She was waiting for her kids to cross the street from our side. They were 2 boys and a girl. My dad noticed how energetic the kids were, so he stopped. Put on the signal to show the speeding cars to slow down while those kids were running to their mom.

The boy and the girl passed the street. A second later, my mom echoed screams and dad's strong horn made me freeze in my seat. The third kid was hit by a speeding car right in front of us.....

12 hours earlier.......

Since Ramadan ended, I haven't had a single weekend. I wake up at 6:30 everyday, sometimes a bit earlier and sometimes I indulge in a few minutes more before I hit the shower, or just switch on the dvd and watch something to gradually have the well to go out of bed.

Yesterday, and for the first time, I was able to sleep until it was 10. How fabulous! I woke up. My family were all here. Perfect! that means breakfast with them. Mama's usual attempts to make "traditional" ryooog & dad's comments over whatever he reads in the newspaper. And my brothers whom are busy with their own gadgets.

In the lunch time, we gathered around mom's machboos, I took the courtesy to tell them my January plans, gym plans, riding plans, summer plans and post everything plan. Few laughs that is followed by: "Ya Baba, one thing at a time"

Afternoon, I disappeared in my room to catch up on my TV shows. Oh and did I mention, I became an addict to iTunes purchasing! It's so much fun.

After Maghreb prayer, I packed my Ipod & camera we went to AlAin. The more peaceful side of Abu Dhabi. My attempt to make Chai-7leeb was a huge success. We reached Mbazzarah. I folded my leggings and tangled my feet in that River of Gold. The water was extreemly hot, I couldn't bear few seconds and lifted my feet again. I continued doing that until It was time to leave.

And that's when It happend

Dad opened the car's door, ran to the kid who was laying on the ground. I heard dad screaming at the driver: "Ma tshooof??"

Only god's miracle made the kid stand up and run to his mom. She was literally expressionless! The kid had few scratches over his face but that was it.  Thank god for my mom's quick mind-processing of what just happened in front of her. She rushed to the kid and his mom, she hugged the kid and started wiping his little face with cold water.

Accidents take mere seconds to happen.  Whether they injure us or they don't.  They are printed in our memories so vividly.

Friday, November 13, 2009

و يعز من يشاء



" This encounter would crystalize in my memory - almost into a mythological moment that I could return to and visit in present tense whenever I wanted or needed its message.  I see the sports car in front of me just as if it's today, circling in slow motion, with the whirring sound of that unbelievably powerful engine as it idles, waiting and purring like a lion about to pounce." Chris Gardner of his book The Pursuit of Happyness

That first encounter with Chris and the Red Ferrari owner made him realize what the power of information meant.  As a homeless, single parent and uneducated person, he bluntly asked: What do you do? 
The Ferrari guy answered him: "A stockbroker"


My part of the story is little different.

It was the F1 day race in Abu Dhabi.  I was standing in front of The Yas Hotel door waiting for my friend to come.  The creme of the crop of people were coming and going,  riding their one of its kind cars, wearing the most luxurious garments and looking their best.  I was looking around, half blinded of the sun reflecting over the cars and straight into my eyes.  for a little girl physically and emotionally to be around such a surrounding.  I was just thinking, my education & my job; brought me here.  And this is just the beginning.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Princess & The Frog



Once upon a dead end.  A princess fell for a frog.  A frog thought he has it all.  He had his pride, and that what made him look so powerful.  The princess thought her life would be complete when the frog is all hers.  Neglecting the fact whether he was good for her.  She prayed for god to bring them closer, to make him feel her affection.

The frog didn't come.

Day after day, the princess counted all the signs god has given her and realized:

The frog will always be a frog. 



Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sigh

It's the internal pain you feel. Take a deep breath and you will feel your heart weakening half the way through the sigh. Yes! here it is, right there.  Just stop.  Take another deep breath,  force your face muscles to form a smile.  No, not that crocked smile.  A better one please.

Few weeks back, I was having a conversation with a dear someone.  He said: Life is so unfair, & then he concluded: "No one can look at his life and say, mine is perfect"

It got me frustrated.  I looked at him with all the anger I could manage to show: " Your family are okay? You are perfectly healthy, You work, you have good education, everyone "y3iz" 3alaik is fine"

Then were is the Not perfect part of your life?

We seemed to drift away from the true meaning of happiness and attached it to probably the only obstacle we have in our life, and then we said our life is missing.  Look at the big picture my friends. Look at the dimensions of your life. You brought up in a completely safe country, you have great parents and loveable surrounding. 

So what if work gets hectic, if we get a cold or a sore ankle.  Should we put a Stop sign on our door and dwell?

My mom travelled to my grandma and aunties.  I couldn't because of my weekend course which I enrolled in. I decided to call grandma and hear her voice atleast.  I heard her Sigh and say: "lel2asaf Ya Binty Mantee Ma3ana"

These few words sent me in a river of tears, knowing how much I miss her, how much I love having breakfast with her, that simple platter of Labneh and Cucumber, that mug filled with hearty Chai-7leeb taste like.  Everything is different.  When those people in your life are fine.  You should raise your hands to the sky and left out a sigh that murmers: "Thank You God"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hit The Target

"En damat le '3airak, ma we9letak Al7een"  The radio people should really work harder to pick encouraging songs every morning. 

That half an hour drive every morning gets me thinking about such issues.  Opportunities for instance. How do we define anything we go through is an opportunity.  As something, if we miss, we should really really regret.

We may see education as an opportunity, others see work as another opportunity. And of course our mothers see the mirage of a new guy coming in as an "opportunity". 

Well, everyone with his own mindset.

lots of phrases are thrown here and there that somehow should encourage us to look and find our golden opportunity.  Phrases like: " Go for it", "Don't miss out on anything", "if you don't catch it, somebody will"

I think, "You Create Your Own" is the best.  But how easy to say, how hard to follow.


P.s when in Doubt just trust your Gut.  It will tell you whether this opportunity is worth it or not.  Be confident and have faith in God, that no matter what comes into your life  it's either a stepping stone of failure or the first step on the ladder of success and happiness. Knowing that failures is not bad, it create innovation at the end.


*Dedicated to my Muse: Mzmz

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Breathe Out the Hatred




You never know how successful you are, until some empty-headed people who I may also add: very shallow,  materialistic *i.e they think their whole existence is based on their ownership of an hermes bag* come out of no where attacking you for no apparent reasons but jealousy and boredom. 


When I look at myself,  I see all the things that other people would dream to have.  I have faith, self-worthiness, and pride.  Something your daddy's money can't buy.  I refuse to be sucked in into fights over: I'm richer, I'm prettier, I'm whatever heck of a deal they have.  


My friend, How would our society grow and learn that status, religious, background differences is so old news?  now it's the time to Earn your success and name.  I personally felt sad over the fact that some people just never change.

p.s Allah la Ykathir mn Amthalkm 

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Snapshots






I love you Abu Dhabi. With the first signs of winter coming in, I can't help but to look forward to my usual hangouts, extra doses of lattes & my new orange blanket I picked out at IKEA few weeks back.

Yesterday, we were one of the fortunate people to experience The Yas Hotel, situated in the centre of Yas Marina Circuit. Very unique people, very unique. I woke up today freezing from the room's ac, yet managed to have a lovely breakfast with my brother. After checking out, we both took different routes, each to his own destination. Mine was work, so I took the new "Sheikh Khalifa Highway" which links Yas & Saadiyat Islands to the Island of Abu Dhabi in one of the most beautiful road/bridge I've seen in the country. I mean it never occurred to me how Blue the sea is, especially in the mid of the day with the rays of the sun hitting right into it.

Couldn't be more proud to belong to you.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Post-Weekend Thought

I clicked on the "New Post" bar felt like my fingers are betraying me. I don't know what to say exactly. I have a lot going on right now, and I don't know where to start. I have gone above and beyond thinking about what happened last week, and the more I think about it, the more it amazes me Why was I happy I had a fight with someone? was I waiting for that moment to happen.

I have always prayed to god to give me a closure, was that my closure? a usueless, tastless fight over something I don't even care about?

Since that day, I've been surprisingly sleeping well and having pleasent dreams.

I boxed up my feelings, left it home writtin all over my mental diary. I wore my new Green Satin Skirt a la blair Waldrof and tied my hair in a super silky pony tail and off to the birthday party. Life is too short to worry about anything.


P.s I love you Salama, Layla, Joody & 3houd. You are my rocks.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Boxing up the Anniverseries

12th October dates my first year at my first job ever. Yeho. Mabrook for me.

Oh yeah let's move on.

Last week and this week, I have done a pile of activities with my friends and cousins. Opening of the Middle East Film Festival was ah-maazing. Lots of actors and actresses I met. Surpisingly, everyone was very kind and sweet. This diminishes the stereotype I keep hearing about celebrities being complete snobs. One highlight of the evening was Demi Moore passing right next me. And well, meeting "Bu 9agir"

who I instantly told:"9aya7tni fl musalsal"

He let out a big laughter and said: "Hatha ely Kint abi aw9allah"

Funny encounter about the festival was my friend telling me a day before. " You know Clooney is coming?" I answered her completely transfored in my own thoughts: "NOOO Su3aad Abdullah is Coming as well" she gave me the look of how I could relate those two togather.

P.S Make sure to check my blog few hours later, I'll add the pix I took from the event.

Moreover, time with my cousins is just delightful. I love them to every bit of my life. We crack up over anything and everything. We always have great time. I thank god for them being in my life seriously. Cousins are something unique, they are not your sister who will constantly tell you: "do this and do not do that" and they are not your friends who you will have the inner doubt of being hurt one day. Those are the people you know by heart will be there for you, when everyone goes away. I still love and can't breathe without my sister and friends lol.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Friends Time

Yum! Craving these evenings
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Ra7al

What happened four years ago is being repeated right now. In this minute. In this second, a stream of pictures goes around my mind, reminding me of our glorious days. The days we lived under his care, love and genuine kindness. This rare person, who left us a legacy that would stay as long as shall we live, is leaving us today. Once again, unexpected, unforgettable.

This huge picture that stood mightily in the Cornishe road reminding us everyday that Baba Zayed is watching us. Caring about his people. Seeing this picture *sent to everyone via the magic of bb* made everyone silently wiping the tears of loss. It's what that tangible monument represents: The intangible secret.

A secret of our happiness; You Obboya :( Allah Yer7amk.


Edit: Fire ate the frame only. Thank god

Friday, October 2, 2009

Happy Friday

Time to cook the cutest bow-tie pasta. I was supposed to go to work today, but I am extreeeemly exhausted to go. Probably tomorrow :) Yes! Here goes my social life.

P.s Happy Belated Birthday Daddy
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

For Better and For Worse

Two days ago I was nagging about how much my lil sis gets on my nerves. But when she fell sick, all am thinking god the house is dead without her usual fights over the remote control and her screams to take her to buy the new Hello Kitty! Pencil case. Which am sure she has the exact same one thrown somewhere in her room.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

The quality of life


The more it becomes simple, the more it becomes enjoyable.

I was scrolling down at my previous posts when the one posted on the 9th of November 2008 made me stop. I ran a scenario of all days that had passed from that particular day till today. Have I ever thought I'd go through a Huge amount of self-exploration, verge-of-depression sometimes and a feeling of victory at most? certainly not, I thought life is such a piece of cake. Truly "Work" is one of the finest experiences anyone could encounter. I don't think I came out learning to be strong as much as I learned to be open-minded, respectful and very determine to shut off any creature that says "you can't do it".

I feel that all of a sudden my interests, my topics has changed. I'm more interested now to improve the quality of my life and myself in particular. I want to enjoy new hobbies. I no longer want to read fiction, I find my joy reading things I can relate to in my life. I have finished Outlier. Great great read indeed. And now I have started The Pursuit of Happyness by Chris Gardner. This book which I got from Amazon right after watching the movie (2 days in row dragging my friends with me to cry over that scene when Chris Jr runs his hand on Will Smith's cheek and tell him: You are a good Papa) But I kept it as a decorative item in my room. I wonder what got to me to dust it off and flip through the first page which reads: Go Forward.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Flash Lights of Past Life



- Nana *my great grandmother* laying down on the floor with her head on brother's lap. She handed me a golden tweezer and asked me to pluck her eyebrows. I thought to myself! walla old ladies never miss the opportunity to look glam

- A cold wind blew my hair all over the place. Our little boat in lake beuna vista . We were listening to very energetic kuwaity song and I could remember our hysterical laughters when the boat broke down in the middle of no where and Joody screams at me to hand her the steering wheel

- Me & Mzmz sitting in the shady bench overlooking the small pond at the university. We were listening to Abdu. A moment of silence followed by: Have you been in love?

- The moment my eyes falls at that picture. A person I did not know anything about. Few months later, my life was all about it

- Auntie was hanging the laundry, I came running: ummy jabaaat walaaad, bysamoonah Mansour. A huge smile on my auntie's face and a reply: 7elo ismah. She looked like her mind started wandering for the time her turn will come

- My family laying down on blanket, in front of the beach. My mom's usual rice & sh3eereia. Dad's red cassette player and my white monkey which I considered my baby throughout my childhood years.

- Mom's driving me & my bro with her newly purchased red mercedes, taking us all over Abu Dhabi. That famous fountain, children playing football and the smell of kabab bbq-ing "tfta7 el nafssss"

- The moment I did my first horse canter, I was transferred to another world

- I decided to hop in another school bus and go to my friend's house. My first experience to try Yamani Cuisine. Tasty Mandi & Besbas left me in la la land

- I was in charge of getting balloons for our friend's surprise party. In the way to her house I heard the song : la 5a6aweena waraha lega, wen tlagaina, tlagaina eb shega

- Climbing what seemed like 1000 stairs to my cousins' friend house in ksa. The house was very dark and trees were so old and tall. She had a huge fish tank in her room. I was scared

- I was writing my english assignment when the news hit on 9/11

- My tears falling down when I saw the documentary on Princess Diana death

- My kuwaity cousins, My saudi cousins being all-nighters. All of us gathered around my aunt who was chopping cucumber and drizzling it with salt & lemon

- Our great seafood bbq at my grandfather's house in KSA. The smell of the "gabgoob" in my plastic plate


The flashlights are countless, it makes me blow a huge sigh coming from a heart that has been through it all. I could look back at my life and feel myself being the "outlier". To much more nice memories and sad ones too. Being open to everything in life, to the fact that remembering these smaller details build our gratitude to everyone who has been part of it.