Thursday, September 25, 2008

I dusted the door to the past

Weren't you a character!

Once upon a time, Baba Ali, had a driver called Zubair! Baba was driving-phobic so he relied on Zubair to drive him everrrrywhere around town. Baba used to shout his lungs out if Zubair drove with high speed. As a result, police gave him a ticket for driving way below average speed.

Baba used to give us money if we massaged his genetically skinny legs. He would put his hand in his pocket & our eyes would turn into $_$ signs anticipating the giving. We would run all the way to the nearby ba8ala & buy frozen vimto and chips.

He used to visit us every now & then, never did he came with empty hands, dolls of all kinds, remember the fever over that Chinese doll with her own passport! I was envied because baba brought one to me before it was in the market.

Baba had many daughters. If they ever felt down, he would buy a ticket & fly them anywhere just to make them forget their sadness.

Baba was always in good mood, laughing his heart, lovable by the strangers before his friends, they used to call him: bo el 7abayeb. Rarely they used his real name.

until One dark evening,

I accidentally picked up the phone, I heard my aunts crying on the phone, begging mom to come quickly, Baba just returned from India & he is very sick he wants to see all his daughters now. I was in grade 6, I couldn't interpret what they meant. I slowly closed the phone & pretended nothing had happened. I tried to block out what is yet to happen.

Mom traveled first thing on the morning. We didn't even say goodbye. One day later, I did it again. I picked up the phone accidentally, I heard my aunt's husband crying on the phone telling daddy. Baba had passed away & everyone is going insane.

Dad packed our things & took the first flight. It was the first funeral I came to encounter. I didn't cry.

I didn't cry for years to come. I just didn't know what death meant, I didn't realize that this person is no longer going to visit, no longer gonna tell me how I resemble him out of all his grandchildren. I just didn't.

During the first/second year of his death, the song " sha5barek" by abudlkareem abul 8ader hit the radio.

أنتهى العام و ابتدى العام الجديد و انته ناسينا ناسينا أكيد

Mom couldn't get over it, whenever they put it, the water comes out & she's crying non-stop. Again I never cried.

years had passed. until 3 years ago, I was laying on bed thinking about life, what had happened, what is missing. All of a sudden I opened my eyes and there he was gazing his sight at me from the ceiling. He was smiling with his beautiful sleepy eyes. That's when it hit me. Baba is gone *snifff*

I cried for hours, I was short of breath & couldn't open my eyes fearing I might see his image again. It was 4 in the morning. I went looking for anyone to talk to. Luckily my bro was in the kitchen making his usual protein drinks. He saw me & completely froze!

I sat on the corner of my bed & told me: I miss baba so bad!

It was the time I realized that everything surrounded him has changed drastically. Everything! his house became very dark, very sad, very unbearable.

Till now I seriously cannot believe he is gone, he left & took the joy with him. Zubair couldn't live in a house where Baba screams where muted down forever, he decided to go back to his country. All the curtains were turned down & everyone tried to move on. Except, I wonder if they did.

You are a great person & you left a legacy behind you, you cannot imagne how I'm fortunate to have your personality, everyone says that, but thank god I know by heart that I do. That's why you deserve to have a dear page on my blog.

I love you Baba
, always will


Diddlina said...

amazing.touched my heart and have all the memories with you to cherish and go through whenever you miss his face or his smile..close your eyes and meet him..imagine..the power of imagination is beyond reason or logic..Allah yjm3akum with him in a better place yarab..
im not saying that to make you feel better but you REALLY resembele him!!the SMILE!!!! i swear i can know he's related to you from the pic..
Im sure he is proud of you =)
Luv u umwa7z

A Journal Entry said...

allah yir7umah oo eghamid roo7ah il jannah...


death is inevitable, wy hathy senat el 7eyah. hum el sabgoon wana7nu ela7eqon. allah yer7ama wu yer7am motana ajma3ein ;(

LuLu, subhan allah, the part where you said that you 'opened ur eyes and there he was gazing his sight at you' same thing estwa ma3aya this last 2 weeks mn ramadan! when ever i closed my eyes i see my grandfather staring at me. i told my mom & cousins abt it. & i start to give sadaga 3an ro7a, & read alfat7a kel ma at'thakarha.. allah yer7am jmeei3 mota elmslmeein.. 9adgeinei ye7tajoon mn el do3a2 :)

{كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ وَنَبْلُوكُمْ بِالشَّرِّ وَالْخَيْرِ فِتْنَةً وَإِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُون{
} (الانبياء:35)

allah yer7amm ajm3ein..

Dreamy said...

allah yr7mh o yr7m jmee3 al amwat ..

I miss dad too

Fairy said...

oh well.. thanks for making me cry, your story reminded me of my own father, he was very old when he died(mn 3mr ur grandfather maybe)the massaging part omgg its like youre talking about me, my dad used to give us money for that too. Allah yer7mhm.
There is this song whenever asm3ha it reminded me of him its called "wake me up when september ends.."

P.S: this is my first visit to ur blog, mashalla ur talented i love ur writing style. keep it up!

N said...

So touching the only thing u can do now is do3a'a! specially in these days...alla yer7ema inshalla!!

AHMED said...

Alla yer7ama inshalla

Layla said...

^ Ameeen ya rabbeee <3

Thank you everyone walla I didn't mean to make you feel sad nor cry, I just wanted to remind everyone that no matter what happens our loved ones will always exist in our heart & soul. o 7etta low 3gb years & years, we would still look up to them.

Thanx again for passing by ;)

Rude Lovers said...

this is the first time i comment bas i couldnt help it, your post made me cry too, i lost my grandfather four years ago and i am still not over it

allah yer7amah wo ye'3amed ro7ah el jannah

read sorat al kahaf for him every firday

pinkest pout said...

awh your entry gave me goosebumps ..allah yer7ema o y'3amid roo7ah il jannaa.. its hard to lose a loved one , allah yer7am mawtanaa..

PaLoMiNo said...

alla yer7ma o eyghmed ro7a il yana 7abeebti ;( i was touched..