Thursday, September 25, 2008
I dusted the door to the past
Weren't you a character!
Once upon a time, Baba Ali, had a driver called Zubair! Baba was driving-phobic so he relied on Zubair to drive him everrrrywhere around town. Baba used to shout his lungs out if Zubair drove with high speed. As a result, police gave him a ticket for driving way below average speed.
Baba used to give us money if we massaged his genetically skinny legs. He would put his hand in his pocket & our eyes would turn into $_$ signs anticipating the giving. We would run all the way to the nearby ba8ala & buy frozen vimto and chips.
He used to visit us every now & then, never did he came with empty hands, dolls of all kinds, remember the fever over that Chinese doll with her own passport! I was envied because baba brought one to me before it was in the market.
Baba had many daughters. If they ever felt down, he would buy a ticket & fly them anywhere just to make them forget their sadness.
Baba was always in good mood, laughing his heart, lovable by the strangers before his friends, they used to call him: bo el 7abayeb. Rarely they used his real name.
until One dark evening,
I accidentally picked up the phone, I heard my aunts crying on the phone, begging mom to come quickly, Baba just returned from India & he is very sick he wants to see all his daughters now. I was in grade 6, I couldn't interpret what they meant. I slowly closed the phone & pretended nothing had happened. I tried to block out what is yet to happen.
Mom traveled first thing on the morning. We didn't even say goodbye. One day later, I did it again. I picked up the phone accidentally, I heard my aunt's husband crying on the phone telling daddy. Baba had passed away & everyone is going insane.
Dad packed our things & took the first flight. It was the first funeral I came to encounter. I didn't cry.
I didn't cry for years to come. I just didn't know what death meant, I didn't realize that this person is no longer going to visit, no longer gonna tell me how I resemble him out of all his grandchildren. I just didn't.
During the first/second year of his death, the song " sha5barek" by abudlkareem abul 8ader hit the radio.
أنتهى العام و ابتدى العام الجديد و انته ناسينا ناسينا أكيد
Mom couldn't get over it, whenever they put it, the water comes out & she's crying non-stop. Again I never cried.
years had passed. until 3 years ago, I was laying on bed thinking about life, what had happened, what is missing. All of a sudden I opened my eyes and there he was gazing his sight at me from the ceiling. He was smiling with his beautiful sleepy eyes. That's when it hit me. Baba is gone *snifff*
I cried for hours, I was short of breath & couldn't open my eyes fearing I might see his image again. It was 4 in the morning. I went looking for anyone to talk to. Luckily my bro was in the kitchen making his usual protein drinks. He saw me & completely froze!
I sat on the corner of my bed & told me: I miss baba so bad!
It was the time I realized that everything surrounded him has changed drastically. Everything! his house became very dark, very sad, very unbearable.
Till now I seriously cannot believe he is gone, he left & took the joy with him. Zubair couldn't live in a house where Baba screams where muted down forever, he decided to go back to his country. All the curtains were turned down & everyone tried to move on. Except, I wonder if they did.
You are a great person & you left a legacy behind you, you cannot imagne how I'm fortunate to have your personality, everyone says that, but thank god I know by heart that I do. That's why you deserve to have a dear page on my blog.
I love you Baba, always will