For Better and For Worse

Two days ago I was nagging about how much my lil sis gets on my nerves. But when she fell sick, all am thinking god the house is dead without her usual fights over the remote control and her screams to take her to buy the new Hello Kitty! Pencil case. Which am sure she has the exact same one thrown somewhere in her room.

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The quality of life

The more it becomes simple, the more it becomes enjoyable.

I was scrolling down at my previous posts when the one posted on the 9th of November 2008 made me stop. I ran a scenario of all days that had passed from that particular day till today. Have I ever thought I'd go through a Huge amount of self-exploration, verge-of-depression sometimes and a feeling of victory at most? certainly not, I thought life is such a piece of cake. Truly "Work" is one of the finest experiences anyone could encounter. I don't think I came out learning to be strong as much as I learned to be open-minded, respectful and very determine to shut off any creature that says "you can't do it".

I feel that all of a sudden my interests, my topics has changed. I'm more interested now to improve the quality of my life and myself in particular. I want to enjoy new hobbies. I no longer want to read fiction, I find my joy reading things I can relate to in my life. I have finished Outlier. Great great read indeed. And now I have started The Pursuit of Happyness by Chris Gardner. This book which I got from Amazon right after watching the movie (2 days in row dragging my friends with me to cry over that scene when Chris Jr runs his hand on Will Smith's cheek and tell him: You are a good Papa) But I kept it as a decorative item in my room. I wonder what got to me to dust it off and flip through the first page which reads: Go Forward.

The Flash Lights of Past Life

- Nana *my great grandmother* laying down on the floor with her head on brother's lap. She handed me a golden tweezer and asked me to pluck her eyebrows. I thought to myself! walla old ladies never miss the opportunity to look glam

- A cold wind blew my hair all over the place. Our little boat in lake beuna vista . We were listening to very energetic kuwaity song and I could remember our hysterical laughters when the boat broke down in the middle of no where and Joody screams at me to hand her the steering wheel

- Me & Mzmz sitting in the shady bench overlooking the small pond at the university. We were listening to Abdu. A moment of silence followed by: Have you been in love?

- The moment my eyes falls at that picture. A person I did not know anything about. Few months later, my life was all about it

- Auntie was hanging the laundry, I came running: ummy jabaaat walaaad, bysamoonah Mansour. A huge smile on my auntie's face and a reply: 7elo ismah. She looked like her mind started wandering for the time her turn will come

- My family laying down on blanket, in front of the beach. My mom's usual rice & sh3eereia. Dad's red cassette player and my white monkey which I considered my baby throughout my childhood years.

- Mom's driving me & my bro with her newly purchased red mercedes, taking us all over Abu Dhabi. That famous fountain, children playing football and the smell of kabab bbq-ing "tfta7 el nafssss"

- The moment I did my first horse canter, I was transferred to another world

- I decided to hop in another school bus and go to my friend's house. My first experience to try Yamani Cuisine. Tasty Mandi & Besbas left me in la la land

- I was in charge of getting balloons for our friend's surprise party. In the way to her house I heard the song : la 5a6aweena waraha lega, wen tlagaina, tlagaina eb shega

- Climbing what seemed like 1000 stairs to my cousins' friend house in ksa. The house was very dark and trees were so old and tall. She had a huge fish tank in her room. I was scared

- I was writing my english assignment when the news hit on 9/11

- My tears falling down when I saw the documentary on Princess Diana death

- My kuwaity cousins, My saudi cousins being all-nighters. All of us gathered around my aunt who was chopping cucumber and drizzling it with salt & lemon

- Our great seafood bbq at my grandfather's house in KSA. The smell of the "gabgoob" in my plastic plate

The flashlights are countless, it makes me blow a huge sigh coming from a heart that has been through it all. I could look back at my life and feel myself being the "outlier". To much more nice memories and sad ones too. Being open to everything in life, to the fact that remembering these smaller details build our gratitude to everyone who has been part of it.

The Fragile Truth

The terminology of Hurt:

1- There comes the time, unexpected scenarios play in a mid of your peaceful day. And it ruins whatever you built or thought you built. It's the unexpected truth about people you care about. In the larger scale of relationship, I wonder how honesty is supposed to be measured.

2- The struggle to end something you dearly loved. Protected and felt special about. Then the "fragile as a web" truth came out and you felt that Trust-worthy people are very few in this time. I don't want to sound too dramatic, yet I have to, because everyone can relate to a story when a person goes on and on about something and how that thing is very bad and stupid, then suddenly you figure they were doing it. It's just a way to make themselves look good.

3- I once asked a person very close to me how can he cope with lose. The answer was: I would be feeling hurt for two days and that's it. That's how men think! tough?

4- Girls on the other hand decide Not to move on. It is like we enjoy the heartache and the shortness of breathe and all that sort of movie-like drama. Wake up! life is not Carrie & Mr.Big *lel2asaf :( *

Bottom line and what I personally think is the most important factor to not being hurt is: do not build high expectations on people whom one day will come out to show their other side. The side that they chose not to reveal to anyone.

Frustration

Of myself. Period

Saturday night

I ditched a trip to the mall for a "me" time spent with Marie Claire, Green tea with fresh mint leaves and a rich sofa.

I've been hating driving lately. Going to work everyday seems like a Huge burden every morning. Dad told me I should be lucky for that some girls would die to have my freedom. I don't know about that. I just got bored.

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Reunion

The best part of Ramadan is the huge urge you feel to reconnect with you "lost" loved ones.

The times I've been a hostess to gatherings could be counted in my single hand. I was never fascinated by the whole idea. However, particularly since last year I changed my interests.

The process of planning your guest lists, the theme colors and how it coordinates with the dinner ware. Then it comes the menu planning, the grocery shopping and finally picking the right flowers. I love being a Girl :)

Tonight. I got to see my school friends. It's been 5 years. We all changed physically I.e being prettier :p but deep down still the same. We remembered the day of our graduation. We secretly got Hussain Al Jasmi cassette to the class and started "practicing". The moment we got the tunes right, the most strict teacher opened the door.

We froze!

I vividly remember one of the girls standing still trying to be a statue, the other under the chair and the other behind the curtain.

I can't feel my face muscles after all the continues laughing.

p.s THANK you shaima, for sending the yummiest dessert everrr! you made me loook goood :P